please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize