Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize