I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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