I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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