i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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