At least make sure they are 18
Why
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
