your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
