oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
