What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
