i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize
