...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
