Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Little spoons don't ask big questions
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
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