My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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