Got a toothbrush?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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