I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
