My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
