handjob tips. give me some.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
