worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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