I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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