was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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