I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
