you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
