is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
