Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
