Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize