OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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