just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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