i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
