help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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