Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
