We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
