Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just found puke in my bra..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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