im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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