She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
