I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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