why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
