Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
