Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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