New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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