at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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