all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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