I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
