a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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