i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
