Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
