dude i'm inner monologue high
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
