I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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