Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
