I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
