i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
