a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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