He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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