Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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