THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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