We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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