I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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