i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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