O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
