I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
